Review of Gordon Ramsay Humble Pie
Autobiography and Promo of Gordon Ramsay (2006, new final chapter 2007) Review by 'Rerevisionist' Aug 2016
Implausibly-Titled Chef's Memoirs from Ten Years Back
In our world, dominated by secret enormous groups, there's an attraction to people who are their own boss: it's easier to understand their activities, what it is they own, their immediate circle. In the past, there were more of such people per thousand. During mediaeval times, for example, one imagines an artist with his atelier, and underlings grinding pigments, stretching canvases, and painting boring background bits. Televisually interesting subjects are possibly rather rare: peasant agriculturalists, building tradesmen, blacksmiths, makers of parts of sailing ships might not excite modern audiences.
The industrialised world's food has changed to what seems a fantastic extent, though of course the nutritional basis is more or less the same. Consider the attractive stone octagonal kitchen at Glastonbury Abbey, with a fireplace in four corners. Probably this mostly cooked meat and bread (potatoes hadn't been discovered; nor had maize). Herbs and spices, and sugar, and edible oil, usually come from plants in hot climates, because they have spare energy to make by-products. There were onions, but not tomatoes. A modern time-traveller might have been reminded of Ray Kroc's establishment, 'MacDonalds'.
By 1900, root vegetables supported cattle over winter; potatoes supported people throughout the year; ships and railways routinely carried food; refrigeration had been invented; vacuum-sealed canisters, airtight tins and jars were mass-produced; electric cooking was added to gas cooking. Peasants, in Britain, growing and preserving and cooking their own food, were as obsolete as hand-loom weavers. The stage was set for professionalisation of cookery, though not really in Britain—warmer climates were better adapted to food designed to be attractive, France being a prominent example, with several hundred local types of cheese, and several hundred types of wine. To this day Michelin—a guidebook started in 1900 by a tyre company—awards stars which rule part of the emotional lives of chefs, with 3 stars the maximum, which seems appropriate for Ramsay's book.
H G Wells wrote a short story (A Misunderstood Artist 1894), possibly suggested by Escoffier at the Savoy, with hints of playful experimentation. Passing over rural inns, urban chop houses, the Lyons Corner House phenomenon and the Aerated Bread Company, fish and chips, proprietary relishes ('Gentleman's Relish' for example) and pastes and chocolate bars, Evelyn Waugh promoting foreign food, and a few dozen wars, we arrive at 1966, Ramsay's year of birth. There's a lot of 'human interest' here, including his father, who appears to have been a derivative pop impersonator—a product of TV and electronic media, someone who never saw the original performer. And a brother who became a drug addict, though I don't think the supplier chain is identified. A word to people in similar circumstances: why not secretly get together with a newspaper, if you can find one that's not going bankrupt, and arrange a series of 'sensational' articles between you, with likely dates for the 'revelations'? They make up 'news' anyway. I won't bother with these details, or Ramsay's ambition to take up football—one of the secrets of football is that many footballers become crippled.
It's a bit disappointing to find Ramsay regards a council house upbringing as an embarrassment, as, it seems, did Pierre Marco White, under whom he worked for a time. I wonder if earlier British socialists would have been annoyed.
Chefs, judging by Ramsay, don't seem to have a high opinion of each other, except when, like actors, they have a motive for luvviness. Quite a few conflicts are listed, and some omissions: no Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall, for example. Ramsay owned 3,500 cookbooks (not the British 'cookery books'). His favourite is Nigel Slater. One might have thought the leading chefs could have a reunion every year or two, for example, and exchange anecdotes about the poor quality and unreasonableness of their diners. Maybe their wives could cook, to reduce competitive problems...
Ramsay says interesting things en passant about the employees and lower orders who must numerically dominate the fine eating industry. For example he worked on Reg Grundy's private yacht in the British Virgin Islands, and recounts how some of the staff got the idea it was their yacht, and behaved inappropriately, rather in the way (I gather) that roadies with pop groups behave. Ramsay says, convincingly, that most of his staff stayed with him, though he sacked some who presumably couldn't take the pace or the required skill-levels.
Ramsay is remarkably low on technical details of cooking: why cook at all, for example? And surely there must be valuable rules of thumb, or physics laws, to help cook? Watching some Hell's Kitchens would-be chefs not even able to cook risotto ("riz-odo" in American) suggests there's a need for helpful mnemonics. Surely there must be facts on transmission of heat, temperatures to get proteins cooked, measures of chewability of foods, effects of marinades, the ageing of wines, the effects of microwaves, the mixing of flavours? What does Sous Vide cooking (in clear plastic) do? Is liquid nitrogen useful? Can rum be injected by hypodermic into mince pies? Is papaya the best enzyme for softening meat?—but it seems cookery remains proto-scientific.
Another apparent omission—I may be wrong here—is the economics of the top of the restaurant market. How many people are prepared to pay for the experience of being guided to seating by a cultivated Maitre d'Hôtel and presented with a menu in French, and fed elaborate food? Ramsay's writings feel a bit like flowers, evolved to exude nectar, and expecting to be rewarded with the arrival of bees. Ramsay the feeling about New York that it's terrifically rich, but surely there must be some uncertainty—Jew-promoted non-whites everywhere, for example. I can remember being shocked at the small number of Americans who bought hardback books.
Yet another omission is detail on the use of illegals in restaurants, sandwich-making places, etc. For example, I noticed an article about 'Sanctuary Restaurants' (after Trump's election); and, twenty years ago, a sandwich seller cheerfully admitting most of his workers were illegal 'immigrants'. I wonder if part of the intention behind TV chef programmes is to scrub up the image of restaurants.
The final chapter, inserted into the 2007 edition, reads like Ingvar Kamprad's biography:- ambitious to open more restaurants, fifteen world-class restaurants being planned, and possibly a movie. Looking back, I can't really tell how successful he was. Gordon Ramsay Holdings, an Internet search or two reveals, had liabilities in mid-2016 listed as 36 million sterling, though I'd guess his TV appearance fees may be held in a different account. He adds a description of a Christmas visit to Helmand in Afghanistan 'in conjunction with the Ministry of Defence and the Daily Mirror'. He describes 18-year old soldiers as 'ready, focused, and just incredibly disciplined', with 'Christmas treat donated by Philip Green of Top Shop and BHS fame'. (Philip Green attained subsequent fame as something like a Jewish pension-fund thief from what was British Home Stores
.) He says 'Trust me, there were no special arrangements. Out there, it doesn't matter a fuck who you are'—as though Jew financiers and their political puppets are there all the time. Clearly, revisionist thinking is not a part of his mental equipment. He thinks National Service should be re-introduced. On his return, in 2006 aged 40, he was part of a star-studded party 'in the Banqueting House, Whitehall'.
One of Gordon Ramsay's achievements (along with Ozzy Osbourne) must be included weakening of the image of the British as shy, retiring, and polite. "Get your breasts off my hotplate" was one his memorable obiter dicta.
I noted he had concerns with Frank Bruni, who was or is a Jew York Times food critic. I could find nothing on 'Kosher' food, or the Kosher scam imposed on Americans and others. Probably the US critics would prefer to redirect diners to something like Solly's maximum torture (K) salt beef n bagels shack. Anyway, his New York restaurant has closed. It occurred to me that possibly Ramsay thinks he's a 'Jew'; Ramsay is listed as a Jewish surname.
At the time he wrote, he'd been contracted to do the British TV Hell's Kitchen, 'one of the worst experiences of my life'. The US version, in a converted LA warehouse, started in about 2005, and is still going. The difference was they had applicants who were not well-known, and with some cooking experience, and who wanted to run their own places. Kitchen Nightmares (2007-2014) postdates this book, and shows that there can be such a thing as bad publicity. A majority closed, not in my view surprisingly. There's a significant point here, relevant to the present-day Jewish censorship: at least in the UK, many eating places with third-world ownership are filthy, infested with rats and insects, some of which get served to the public. Ramsay's handlers are careful never to let this show, just as there is no reference to 'Kosher' practices. And this applies to this book. OK to insult other chefs; taboo to tell truths Jews think are bad publicity.
Gordon Ramsay doesn't speculate much on public perception of these restaurants: carefully-designed interiors, elaborate menus, and the rest can be intimidating. It might be fun to watch other people in a restaurant being served food contrary to expectations:–"Zees soupe eez always served cold, Madame" - "Zees dish is intended to ooze blood, Sir" - "Sauternes is meant to be a very sweet dessert wine, Sir" - "This is known as 'au jus', Madame".